Tipping points
are necessary when trying to create intentional change, both in our personal
and professional life. These tipping
points represent our “conscious effort to establish new behaviors or conditions
that are different from what they presently are or appear to be” (Howard,
2006). Our emotional responses and level
of emotional intelligence help to guide our decisions at these tipping points
in intentional change. Our emotional
responses during these tipping points are vital to the sustained success of
change because they guide our decision making, adaptation, and performance
(Howard, 2006). Our ability to balance
our positive emotional attractors and our negative emotional attracters reflect
our effectiveness and help us to maintain resonance as a leader (Boyatzis,
2013).
In
my own personal life, it’s easy to see these tipping points and moments where I
am consciously aware of my emotions and my ability to utilize those feelings to
form effective responses and communication with others. When thinking about trigger points in my
professional life; however, I find it a bit more challenging to pinpoint those
moments. As I’ve discussed in the past,
I am sometimes my own worst critic, which inadvertently has placed me in a
position to see only negative emotional attractors. I’ve come to understand that by assuming your
possibilities and dreams will never happen or that your strengths are not a
match for the situation, then you are less likely to avoid feelings of rejection,
doubt, and failure. With that said, I
have also come to realize that sometimes we need to have hope and optimism that
we can achieve these dreams because in this situation, we are giving ourselves
a chance. By giving ourselves a chance
and remaining positive about our efforts, even if we don’t achieve success, we
are allowing ourselves to learn, experiment, and continue to practice. These opportunities allow us to better “cope
with challenges, set new goals for ourselves, learn new behaviors, and draw on
others for help and support,” which over time, make us stronger leaders
(Howard, 2006).
When
thinking through my experiences I’ve realized that the most beneficial moments
for me have come from a combination of my own aspirations, someone who believes
in me, and the desire to experiment and learn from the situation. There have been plenty of moments when I have
been in a leadership position, but have been fearful to assert myself. This fear has caused me to be perceived as a
passive leader, which has in turn, caused others to lose belief in my abilities
(Santora, 2007). All of these emotional
responses stem from several places, all centered around negative emotional
attractors and extrinsic interests. It took
a while for me to realize that I had been sabotaging any chance I had for
success, but once I finally realized what I was doing, I feel like I am better
fit to let my emotions reflect my intrinsic interests (Howard, 2006).
My
first real trigger point happened when I was a student in college. I attended an art and design university, but
struggled to feel like I really belonged there.
A specific moment happened that has always stood out to me as a moment
that has positively guided me to my real self and allowed me to maintain positivity
about my growth and practice. This tipping
point came when I was in a 3-D design class.
I had no experience with any of the materials or processes and felt very
insecure about the assignments. My
professor at the time was crazy in a way that reflected some of my personality;
aspects of myself that I hadn’t allowed to come out due to extrinsic
motivators. He was quirky and focused
more on our individual process and methods instead of the expected
results. He encouraged creative thinking
and pursuing your craziest ideas, which was something I had never been exposed
to, but quickly realized was an integral part of my development as a
leader. We were assigned 2
projects. The first one we were to create
an environment that represented layers of depth and movement on a piece of foam
core. The direction, in my opinion at
the time, were vague and left me with a feeling of being overwhelmed and
anxious. I researched everything I could
for what other people did and what was typically viewed as important points to
hit working on projects like this. I was
forcing myself into negative emotional attractors that were guiding my actions
through perceived expectations. I tried
everything that felt foreign to me, as I lacked experience in utilizing those
materials and then just gave up. I
wasted so much time trying to figure out what I needed to be, instead of
realizing what I already was and what I was capable of that I gave myself no
time to complete the project successfully.
At that moment, I gave up on those extrinsic feelings and just did what
felt right to me and glued a bunch of rocks, sticks and leaves onto the foam
core. I had no plan, no process, and no
clue what it was to represent, but I just went with it anyway. When I reluctantly brought it to class, my
professor saw it and immediately said “HOT DOG”, which was his commonly used
phrase of approval and excitement. He
was so happy to see someone, in his eyes, step out of the box and do something
different than what the directions reflected.
It was at that moment that I realized that it is ok to follow your
instincts and experiment with different ideas.
I realized that I didn’t have to fit a perceived “mold” of creativity
and success, being me was enough. Obviously,
this experience didn’t immediately change me over night, but it allowed me to
become consciously aware of my actions both internally and externally. This moment was my tipping point for making
an effort toward letting go of extrinsic motivators and, instead, believing in
my strengths and abilities.
I would not have done anything
differently in this situation because I feel like it provided me a real moment
that I could actually see and experience happening. It allowed me to go through the process of
being vulnerable and also provided me the full experience of having to face my
fears and practice my strengths and communication. By forcing myself to face these situations,
it made the goal of overcoming it more attainable and realistic because I
learned something from the situation and didn’t die of embarrassment or
failure. Nothing that my anxiety told me
would happen, actually happen. I
realized that my fears are what I need to overcome and that my strengths are
really my strengths. This moment allowed
me to continue to put myself in situations that I would otherwise avoid. I’ve come to realize since that tipping point
moment, that when I have put myself in a position to be critiqued or judged
that it’s ok to not get something right.
These situations act more like opportunities that have helped me develop
and learn from. By avoiding them my
whole life, I not only blocked my efforts to strengthen my skills, but I also stunted
my efforts for developing a stronger understanding and belief in the
attributes, skills, and strengths that I bring to different situations. When a moment pops up that has potential to
impact your emotions, I realize now that it is important to allow that balance
of both positive and negative emotional attractors because it helps build a gauge
for possibilities and ideas.
References
Howard, A. (2006). Positive and
negative emotional attractors and intentional change. Journal of Mgmt
Development Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 657-670.
Kim, C., & Mauborgne, R. (2003). Tipping Point
Leadership. Retrieved February, 2016, from
https://hbr.org/2003/04/tipping-point-leadership/ar/1
Santora, J. C. (2007). Assertiveness and Effective
Leadership: Is There a Tipping Point? Academy of Management Perspectives,
21(3), 84-86.
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