Saturday, January 30, 2016

A641.3.2.RB - Working with EI: Getting Results!

Emotional intelligence represents the traits that help develop and encourage a wide range of abilities that help us better understand ourselves and the relationships we build with others.  These traits center around self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).  Emotional intelligence allows us to better connect and understand ourselves, which in response, help us to build stronger relationships and gain new insights into managing ourselves.  While emotional intelligence represents a universal foundation for human development and understanding for emotions and our ability to adapt, EI can also help us reflect and manage our emotional responses better. 
            In Goleman’s talks, he discussed how he feels that as a society, we are not necessarily becoming more emotionally intelligence due to the wide-spread inability to control our emotions.  Dr. Goleman also pointed out that with the growth in technology, we are becoming more focused on ourselves, cutting off our ability to sense an opportunity to make a real connection with someone, essentially cutting off our emotional empathy (Goleman, 2007).  By doing this, we end up hurting our ability to develop and strengthen our emotional intelligence.  I feel like I have recently started to consciously recognize just how much of what Dr. Goleman discusses is true.  In order to strengthen different areas of emotional intelligence, we need to recognize and intentionally make an effort to change and become more mindful of our presence (Boyatzis, et al., 2005).  When thinking about the four dimensions of EI, I feel like I have strengths in some areas, but room to improve in others.  Self-awareness and self-management tend work together by first recognizing our own emotions and their potential effects on a situation (Boyatzis & Emmerlin, 2012).  Through understanding our emotions better, we can better handle difficult emotions in effective ways, so that they don’t cripple us.  Self-management is an area I feel that I could work and develop further.  As I have mentioned in other postings, managing my emotions, both negative and positive, would help me better develop as a leader in professional and personal life.  I feel like I let my emotions control my actions and decision making too much, for better or worse, making the outcome and my ability to develop relationships more difficult.  As Goleman noted that we are too involved as a society in ourselves, I feel like stepping back from focusing on ourselves and instead, listening more to the world around us, we can actually gain a better insight in our own development.  I think this process would be helpful for me in working on my self-management, as I tend to detach myself from situations and environments due to my inability to maintain my emotions.  The emotions I usually struggle with are related to feeling uncomfortable, having self-doubt, worrying and anxiety, and fear for my ability to be able to establish a connection with someone else.  While these emotions are not controlling my entire life, they do end up holding me back from developing further emotional intelligence and experiencing new opportunities.
            While I struggle with handling my emotions, I do feel like I have taken big steps in improving and becoming aware of the specific areas that are most affected.  I’ve found out that by encouraging yourself to take part in situations that may be uncomfortable will help continue development, especially with EI.  When I get to consciously practice working on these skills, I am better able to recognize the situations in the future and respond properly.

References
  
Boyatzis, R. E., & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership: Renewing yourself and connecting with others through mindfulness, hope, and compassion. Boston: Harvard Business School Press.


Emmerling, R. J., & Boyatzis, R. E. (2012). Emotional and social intelligence competencies: Cross cultural implications. Cross Cultural Management Cross Cultural Management: An International Journal, 19(1), 4-18.

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